Recovering from a divorce can be devastating for some people. Others, though, may be glad to be out of a bad relationship. Either way, it’s going to be best for you and your future dates that you take a while after the divorce to have some “you time." Get to know who you are again. Once you do this, you will have a better of understanding of what you want out of life. The hiatus will also help you to determine what you’re going to want from your future companion. So be sure to take that leap only when you’re really ready.
Don’t Bring Up the Details
Even though it would be good for the person you’re dating to know that you are divorced, don’t go into the details about it. Nothing is more unattractive than rambling on and on about past relationships. The subject will come up eventually of course but when it does, keep it brief and focus your attention on your date and on having a good time, not on the past. You can be open and honest with your date, but do it without spilling your guts.
Relax and let the real you shine. Dating is about getting to know the other person. The goal is to find out if that person has characteristics you like and if he or she is worth going out with on a second date. Keep in mind that your date is probably as nervous as you are and wants to make a good impression. Just be yourself and encourage the other person to be the same way. Enjoy the moment and smile a lot. You will soon notice that the smiling is contagious and before you know it, you both will be at ease with the situation.
It’s a Date, Not Therapy
If you’ve been through a divorce, especially after a long-term relationship, then it’s more than likely that you’ve been to therapy. While in therapy, you were probably able to get to know yourself better because of the treatment you received there. But this is not prime information to be sharing with your date. This is information you want to hold off on sharing until things get serious. If you start talking about the insights you gained in therapy, it’s almost a sure thing that your date will think you’re nuts and that you offer too much information. Keep most of your issues between you and your therapist.
Show Some Interest
Be sure to pay attention to your date. Get to know who the other person on the other side of the table is. Ask questions and listen to what your date has to say. Nothing is more flattering to people than knowing that what they have to say matters. The more questions you ask, the more knowledge you will gain about your potential partner. This is a great help in determining whether or not there will be second date.
Don’t Get Too Serious Too Fast
Just date for the sake of dating! Give yourself the opportunity to meet new people and have some fun before looking for your next serious relationship. This tactic will keep you from jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.
Ending the Date
How the date ends is up to the both of you. Whether to kiss at the end of the date or ask your date to stay for the night is completely up to you. You’re both adults. But do what feels right for you and for your date. At the end of the date, if you want to head home, then do it. But if you both want to spend the night together and get to know each other some more, then do it. However the encounter ends, be courteous at the end. We’re all humans and deserve respect no matter how the date may end up going.
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